Messages
by GirlsNeverCry
Summary: Bella can't go on with her relationship with Jasper when she knows he's with Alice, her best friend. When they finally break it off, messages come in. Rated M for lemons and lots of profanity. OOC/AU/AH
1. Serious

1Hello there!

Well, I discontinued Lovers Die Trying because it sucked.

And I hope this doesn't suck. And honestly, I think it's going pretty well.

Now for some warnings!

WARNING:

If you don't like lemons, Bella/Jasper, lots of cursing GO AWAY.

It's not me, it's you, sorry.

Disclaimer:

I don't own these characters. I just think they're hot.

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"With Edward 3 Bbl!"

Fucking bitch.

I cannot stand that bitch of Tanya Denali.

The only time she's ever fucking away is when she's having sex in her basement. Be back later mean's she's doing it in her mom's room. Disgusting piece of shit.

I mean, I don't blame the slut. Edward's a fucking GOD. And I know everyone says it, but Jesus Christ, he is.

But he's a goddamn player, too.

And I'm Innocent Pussy Bella who can't get fucked by anyone other than Jasper.

Yet he's always running off to do the nasty with Alice when I'm at Florida with Renee.

Which is often.

You can call our relationship pretty open. He's still my boyfriend, but he still fucks Alice. And he knows that I know that, too.

It's all fucked up.

So, as I'm staring blankly at my IM from Jasper, I'm a bit out of it.

_BABY! _He types enthusiastically. No wonder he loves the little bitch.

_What do you want, Jas? _

_I'm hoping you'd accept my offer of coming over, darling._

I roll my eyes. I'm not in the mood, but okay. _Alright. I'll be there in a bit._

Jasper is quick to answer. Typical. _Bring something sexy to wear. Since you always do. Bye, sexy._

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Aw, Christ, Jasper! You didn't have to do this for me." I glanced around the room, seeing candles around the room. It was extremely corny, but sweet. I couldn't help but think how it would be if Edward Cullen did this for me as Jasper's lips came up to mine.

I ignored these thoughts, wrapping my hands around his neck.

I wore a tank top and shorts. Underneath, just as he wished, I was wearing. revealing lingerie Alice and her sidekick, Rosalie, had bought me for my birthday.

"Fuck." I muttered as he ripped off my clothes and underwear, kneading my nipples.

Jasper quickly undressed, one hand still on my nipple. When he revealed to me his member, he wasted no time and pounded into me.

"Jesus. Christ. Jasper." I grunted as he fucked me. My head rolled back onto the pillow as he sucked on my neck.

Of course, I was always the one to come first, and as I waited for him to finish his deed, I saw my phone flash, as it was on silent.

Probably Charlie. That fucker probably wants some food.

I counted the seconds until Jasper moaned into my neck. Twelve.

He kissed my cheek and smiled weakly.

"I'm going to take a shower, you comin'?"

I shook my head, giving him a half-smile. "Go, you smelly fuck."

Jasper chuckled, walking towards his bathroom. "Nice ass." I called to him as he threw a grin in my direction.

Sometimes, I think I would actually love him if he were actually committed to me and not just for the fucking.

And sometimes, I wished that Alice didn't exist.

But I could never hope that actually happen.

Because she's just an amazing fucking friend.

And I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for her.

But that's another long story that I probably will not mention. Or I will. Depending on how much pity I want to get from whomever's reading this piece of shit.

I pick up my cell phone from the night stand and glance at the thousands of texts I've received.

Dad: "Honey, where are you?"

Dad: "Text back."

Dad: "How do you microwave last night dinner?"

Dad: "Does metal do well in microwaves?"

Dad: "I guess not. Bells, where are you?"

Dad: "Are you with the Whitlock boy? You can just tell me."

Dad: "I'm getting worried."

Edward: "Hey, Swan."

Just as I'm texting Dad back to calm the fuck down and to make sure he didn't blow up the microwave, my fingers freeze.

Holy fuck.

Edward?

"Bella." Jasper sighs as he lies down next to me, smiling and smelling like a cup of Tropicana. I quickly text Dad back and throw my phone on the carpeted floor.

Jasper throws his arms around me and kisses my shoulder.

My heart is still racing from the message as Jasper continues onto kissing my neck lovingly.

I start kissing him, rolling on top of his strong body, as I rub his bare chest.

"Bella, you know my bastard of a father is going to come home."

Or Alice, I thought.

I stop kissing him and start putting my clothes back on.

Jasper props himself on his elbows, giving me a questioning look.

"We have a while, you know."

I put on my shoes, grabbing my phone and walk out of the room, shoving my panties in my pocket. I don't want them to be one of his prizes anymore.

He beats me to the door, wearing only boxers at the moment, and blocks the way. I feel the hot tears rolling down my stupid face.

"I don't want to do this anymore. Jasper, I'm done sharing you with my fucking best friend."

Jasper puts his arm down, his face showing signs of guilt. "I don't—"

"I know you haven't admitted it. But you know I knew. And you know I was accepting it for a while."

He purses his lips, not knowing what the fuck to say.

"You bastard." I mutter, shoving him away from the door.

Jasper pulls my arm and I stupidly turn back around.

"Bella, please. I'm sorry. I'll break it off with Alice. For you. For us. I love you, Bella."

I feel like I've just been bitch slapped by three Jessica Stanleys. You cannot be bitch slapped by Jessica Stanley. She can't even flick a fly, that anorexic shit.

"You know you wouldn't. You lying piece of shit." I flip him the bird and run to my car.

Fucking Jasper.

Fucking Alice.

Fucking Charlie.

Fucking Edward and Tanya.

I flip open my phone and stare at the text message staring at me.

"'Sup Bella? Got too much of Jasper's ass tonight to answer Edward's text messages?"


	2. What You Want

1Hello again!

I'm seeing only a small portion of you cared to read the first chapter.

I promise you guys, it really is interesting.

Anyway, I have to apologize for the random numbers in the first chapter (and probably in this one, too).

WordPerfect isn't my best friend, so bare with me, dolls.

Warning:

Cursing, OOC, and a bunch of stuff you probably won't like.

Sorry, but no lemons in this one.

Disclaimer:

I don't own the Twilight saga. But if I did, I'd probably make Edward a lot less attractive. But that would defeat the purpose.

Oh well.

READ ON! :D

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Well, if it weren't for fucking technology I wouldn't have this problem.

"Bella! The phone company's telling me that I'm going to owe two hundred bucks more than what I usually pay! What the hell's going on?! Who are you texting?!"

Don't get your panties in a bunch, Charlie.

"Dad, Jasper's been texting me nonstop. It's not my fault. And you're no help either Mr. Text-My-Daughter-Police-Codes-While-She's-At-School. I mean what the fu— what the heck is that?"

He didn't catch my curse word fumble. Thank God. He hates that shit. "It's to protect you from boys, Bells."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're not doing a good job. Jasper and I are done."

Charlie shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Well, that bastard had it going for him. I knew there was something bad about that kid."

And that was it.

I pictured Jasper's grin after I had told him that he had a tight ass as Charlie tried to comfort me.

"Aw, Bells, don't cry on me now. He ain't worth nothing if he makes you cry."

I shook my head, wiping my tears away with a piece of stale bread Charlie forgot to put in the fridge.

"Sorry, I forgot to bring tissues on the way home from work." He chuckled.

"At least this bread hasn't broken into tiny pieces, on account to how fucking stale it is."

Charlie gave me a warning look and I smiled.

He glanced at the clock. "You sure you wanna go to school today, kid?"

I shrugged and picked up my bag. "I've been dealing with it for a night, I think I can deal with it for eight hours."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead and went to my truck.

Okay, this is getting fucking ridiculous. Nobody will stop staring at me like I've just committed a fucking murder, and Alice will not stop annoying the shit out of me.

"I will never ever talk to him again! How come you didn't tell me you knew? I'm just so sorry."

I ignored her nonstop talking and walked towards my locker to find Rosalie and Emmett standing there like I had just earned a Nobel Fucking Prize for breaking up with Jasper.

I just ignored them, too.

"Why so angry, Swan? Finally unlocked the Whitlock curse?" Emmett said, making absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

Rosalie glared at him and shoved him away like the good girlfriend she is. "Cut it, asshole." She looked at me. "So, tell me what happened."

I shrugged, putting books in my bag that I really didn't need until later. Or tomorrow.

Rosalie closed my locker, noticing this. I sighed and looked at the floor. "I'm not a Barbie. I'm not going to share Ken with Kelly."

Emmett laughed. "Kelly is like Barbie's little cousin. Hot."

Disgusting.

We both rolled our eyes. "So, I just had it with him. I guess. I knew he was lying about his dad coming home. Since—"

"Rose." Emmett interrupted.

Rosalie punched him in the groin, and motioned for me to go on.

"Since he comes home at around 10. It's always a fucking—"

Emmett interrupted again, his voice showing signs of obvious pain. "Rose, look."

Rosalie shot him an annoyed look and followed his huge finger to Edward.

He waved at Emmett and pointed to his shirt.

What the fuck?

I read it and froze.

"Bastard." Rose and I said in unison.

Emmett tried to hide a roar of laughter by eating a Twizzler he found on the floor.

I read it again. "It NO LONGER Takes a Steel Magnolia to Raise a Southern BellA"

Well, he was fucking smart enough to cross out the E in Belle and put in A.

He knew that I called Jasper my Steel Magnolia, conscious of the fact that he had a southern father.

Rosalie blocked my path towards Cullen and looked at me sternly.

"Do you really want to kill a bastard today, Swan?"

I nodded and waited for her to move away.

She didn't.

"Listen, Rosalie. If you don't move, I'll tell your Pastor of a Father that we're scissor sisters. And if he doesn't know what the fuck that is, I'll explain it to him, maybe even Google pictures for him."

Rose smirked and moved out of the way. "Alright, Lesbian Lover, just don't hit the jugular. You'll regret it."

Emmett gawked at her stupidly, actually believing that we're lovers. Jesus.

Edward smiles crookedly as I step up to him and tiptoe to his height, barely a centimeter a way from his plump, sexy lips...

"What the fuck are you wearing, you prick?!" I say to him in a low voice, making sure only he could hear what I'm saying.

He smiles and looks at my lips, which are now closer to his. Almost touching. I move back a bit. "I decided that I should wear this shirt in honour of your recent breakup with my buddy Jas."

I bit my lip, fighting back the urge to punch him right in the fucking nose.

"Don't you like it, Swan? It's a great color on me."

I refuse to respond. He continues.

"By the way, I'm sorry I interrupted your breakup sex last night. I didn't know Innocent Bella would be doing such a thing."

I clench my fists, holding them to my sides.

Fucking asshole.

I walk away, bursting into tears.

What a prick.

What a fucking prick.

I hear him walking behind me in his hundred-dollar shoes his Daddy bought him. "Bella, I can change it if you want me to."

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"What a loser." Alice huffed about Edward, eating a granola bar on top of the cafeteria bar. I caught her frowning at Jasper behind me.

Jasper. Jasper. JASPER.

Asshole to the sixth power.

I lay my head on the table and close my eyes.

"Bella," a voice says my name. Jesus H. Christ, Jasper, leave me the hell alone.

Alice's eyes widen.

"I regret wearing that shirt."

Shirt?

Oh fuck.

I look up.

"Hey, Swan." He smiles at me, wearing a blue shirt now.

A hand taps my shoulder and I jump, Edward glares at Jasper, who's standing behind me.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Excuse me, Cullen. But I've got a girlfriend to attend to." Edward raises an eyebrow at Jasper's comment as I stay seated.

Jasper looks at me.

"Go on, Alice. He wants to talk to you." I say, looking at Edward. Edward cringes.

Alice gasps behind me, knowing that she's now officially in the middle of this.

Jasper's hand drops from my arm and he walks away. I dare not to look at the back of his jeans.

Edward raises an eyebrow again and opens his mouth to say something, but walks away, too.

As he walks away, I can see Alice is itching to leave, too. So I get up and head over to the next class.


	3. Blood In The Water

Hello!

Sorry for the lack of updates, because I had major finals in the past week.

And I was majorly stressed.

So now since I was stressed, I give you desserts.

Get it?

Stressed is desserts backwards.

Okay. I'm not amusing anybody.

READ ON!

Warning: Twilight owns millions of annoying 12 year olds. But I do not own Twilight.

That is all.

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"Jasper. Please." I say, seeing how beautiful he looks. He had come by to talk to me, and apologize. At eleven in the fucking morning. I'm not buying it.

"Bella."

"Jasper."

What is this? A name game?

"Bella...I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to say it. But I'm sorry. I'm an ass."

"Of course you are, Steel Magnolia. Of course you are." I spit, pushing his buttons.

I see Jasper's eyes fill with tears. This doesn't faze me. Jasper's highly emotional. Almost worse than I am.

"Please. Forgive me. That's all I want."

That's _all _he wants.

Yes.

That's everything he wants. My fucking forgiveness. Sure.

I roll my eyes like ghetto Lauren Mallory and push my finger into his polo shirt. "What _you _want is Alice. You don't want my forgiveness. You're pitying little poor Bella. Because you broke her poor little heart. You're lusting after the little pixie bitch I call my best friend."

Jasper backed away from me, hitting his back against my kitchen wall. "But you know what, Jazzy?" I lift my finger from his chest to his nose and gently slide it down to his perfect pink mouth. "You can have her. I'm glad you've hit it off with her. Because she was the blood in the water to you. You were— are— the shark. Eat it up, big boy. Because I know you'll be looking for more shark bait soon."

Jasper's tears flow, trailing his pink cheeks. He utters a sob, and I put my accusing finger down and walk to my room.

I hear Jasper leave after a few minutes and I come back down to lock the door behind him. I surprised myself by not bawling as I found the letter on the countertop, wet from his tears.

_Bella,_

_I wish you could have let me explain. Hell, I wish I had the words to explain this to you in person. I love you, Bella. With all my heart. But we were not made for each other. Despite the fact that I know this, I still am in love with you. I hope a real man may be able to love you and realize what he has. And maybe he'll tell you that he loves you before it's too late. And I hope he isn't a prick. And if he is, that's okay. I'll still love you._

_Jasper._

I crumpled up the paper and hesitated at the garbage can. I shoved it in my back pocket as my phone rang.

I didn't look at the Caller ID, but I instantly knew it was Rosalie.

"Bella! You bitch. You didn't tell me that Jasper came over."

I sighed, and took a bagel from the basket. "He just left."

"Well. You should have called. What did he say?" Rose demanded, shushing Emmett in the background.

I cringed. "He said sorry."

Rose laughed. "And what did you say?"

"I technically told him to go fuck off."

Rosalie seemed proud of me. "Awesome."

"Yeah. But he left a note. I'll read it to you."

Rosalie groaned and interrupted me. "I'm sorry, Bella. Emmett wants to eat. I'll call you after we screw. I promise, my bitch."

I hung up, lying on the bed.

Why me?

I took a piece of the bagel and stuffed it in my mouth. My eyes widened and filled with tears as I recalled something. I spit the bread out, despising the taste.

Damn Jasper.

My phone rang and I took a look at the screen. Alice had left me a text.

_How do you feel about Cullen?_

I texted her back. _I hate him as much as you do._

_Haha, Bella! I think he's nice. So you think he's nice. And he's a hunk. So you think so too._

I rolled my eyes. Another text came in.

Edward.

_Open your window._

Alice's text came onto my screen. _Sorry. He asked me if you were home._

I wiped away the tears that had formed before and walked over to my window. I was somehow startled as I pulled away the curtains to see Edward's green eyes staring blankly at me. I knew he was there. Why did I almost jump three feet when I saw him?

Oh right, because he's fucking beautiful. And he's at my window. And this isn't a dream. And he's an asshole who's at my window.

I opened my window and he stepped right into my room, dirtying my carpet with his disgusting combat boots.

I sucked in a breath as he smirked at me. "What the hell are you doing here at eleven? You're lucky Charlie left—"

"I saw Whitlock leave."

I slumped involuntarily. He noticed, observing my posture.

"No breakup sex?"

I shook my head and somehow made it to my bed, under the sheets.

I pulled the blanket above my head.

"Bella, am I an asshole?"

I nodded.

A hand softly trailed down my back. I fought the urge to slap it.

"That's great. If I can get to you, I know I'm the biggest asshole in the world."

I sat up, glaring at the prick in front of me. "Proud, aren't you?"

Edward smiled like he had just won a Nobel Fucking Prize for fucking thirty girls in three hours.

I slapped him and buried myself under the blankets.

Edward sat on the edge of my bed, unmoving.

"Is it wrong of me to be very turned on at the moment?"

Was it wrong for me to laugh at that?

I sat back up to see Edward's odd expression.

Anger, embarrassment, and lust.

Take me here, you asshole.

I shook off the dirty thought and glanced at the front of his pants.

Damn.

"Like what you see?" Edward said, leaning towards me.

I leaned away.

"Get dressed. We're going to...hang out."

I must've looked at him like he had a huge dick on his face.

Edward rolled his eyes and pulled the blankets off of me. "We are going to hang out. You and me. Get dressed before I do it for you. And I won't protest."

I hid a smile and went to my dresser. Edward followed.

Edward sighed behind me. "So what happened with you and Whitlock?"

I pursed my lips, passing Edward a pair of jeans and a sweater. "He said sorry."

I didn't notice I was crying again until Edward dropped my clothes and grabbed my face. At first I thought he was going to kiss me, but then he wiped away my tears. "Jasper's a dick. Bella, you'll find someone. I'll find someone for you. Do you like that Jacob boy?"

I smiled. "I'm pretty sure he hasn't hit puberty yet."

Edward chuckled and let go of my face, picking up my clothes and throwing them to me.

"I'll be in the Volvo. Hurry up."

Edward eyed my body as I threw myself in the Volvo.

"Like what you see?" I grinned as Edward laid a hand on the back of his neck, the other hand gripping the wheel, obviously trying to control himself.

"Bella, when do I _not _like what I see?" He said, restraining himself from saying anything offensive.

I pursed my lips, finding myself putting Edward in Jasper's position.

_Position, _I scoffed to myself. What positions would Edward be up for? Edward threw me a sideways glance before driving off.

"What are you thinking about, you crazy bitch?" He said, a smile playing on his lips.

"You." I admitted, pulling my hair over my eyes, to shield myself from embarrassment.

I heard Edward's rumbling laughter next to me. What was so funny?

"What's so funny?" I demanded as Edward pulled over, trying to save us from a possible crash on account to his hysterical laughing.

I saw the hint of nervousness in Edward's eyes as he looked at me. He was still laughing, but under the tender, wholehearted joke he was recovering from, he was thinking of something horrid. Something that scared him.

As Edward calmed down suddenly, I leaned over and put a hand on his cheek.

Something about his gorgeous face fucking frightened me. But I couldn't stay away. Jasper had been so safe, so timid. Charlie even liked him for a period of time. Jasper and I were inseparable, except for the occasional switch between me and Alice.

Edward. Edward was strange. Different. And just as beautiful as Jasper. He had an edge every girl wanted. He wanted to be pleased, and never pleased others. And I mean that in more ways than one.

I wanted Edward.

And I threw away all my love for Jasper, and took his thoughts to heart. Maybe Edward was the one for me. And he might be the asshole I'm looking for. The one I deserve. Because maybe Jasper was too perfect.

"Bella." Edward said softly as I leaned in towards him, inhaling his manly scent.

I closed my eyes, dropping my hand from his face to his chest. "Yes?"

"You're...What are you doing?" He said, his voice ragged.

I smiled, opening my eyes to look at his face.

"I don't want to scare you, Edward, but I think I should really kiss you." I said, getting my point across.

Edward's eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting up as he leaned away from me.

I leaned back, his rejection giving me whiplash.

What the hell?

His eyes showed everything but disinterest.

"Bella," He began. I sat there, unmoving. "I want you. I really want you. It took all my strength to not fuck you senseless in your room."

I flushed, terrified and undoubtedly aroused.

"I'm not for you. You're innocent. White." He shook his head, his grip on the wheel tight. "I'm disgusting. I've fucked 20 girls in the past two months. I'm the darkest shade of black."

I opened my mouth to protest, he continued. "I've been having nightmares about you. Never dreams. I could never conjure up a dream if I tried. I've had ones where you're hanging off a cliff, dying in the pits of hell. But I've never had a dream.

"And if I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it. So I thank whoever the fuck's up there for sending me these deranged signals. Because he or she is telling me that I should stay the fuck away, even though I think having you next to me for just a moment is my wish being granted."

I pursed my lips and grabbed my bag.

And you know what I did?

I ran.

I ran back to Charlie's.

I ran to stay away from the hurt. I always run away.

And Edward didn't run after me like I'd wanted him to.

I turned to look behind me and saw him rest his head against the steering wheel.


	4. Positive Pt 1

1**Hello again.**

**(:**

**I've got an update.**

**And I'm hoping I'll get some readers soon.**

**Hopefully.**

**And for the dearest darlingest people who are reading this:**

**I WARN YOU. **

**THERE IS A LEMON SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE.**

**/caps.**

**Read on.**

**Review, please.**

**I thrive on compliments.**

**Tell me what you think should happen next. **

**Please and thank you.**

**READ ON.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Stephenie Meyer owns these people. Not me. Oh well.**

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Well, I've got to fucking do something if I'm ever going to see Bella again. I shook my head, despite the fact that I had already driven to her father's house and parked alongside her driveway.

I kept shaking my head as I climbed the tree, and I stopped shaking my head as I saw her through the window.

She was crying.

I've never held so much _hatred _for myself. I caused her to cry.

I wanted to rip Jasper into pieces when she cried before.

Now I just want to tear myself into pieces.

I watched as she balled up under her covers and closed her eyes, taking a nap. I opened the open window a bit more, and stepped into her room.

"Bella," I whispered, stepping towards her dormant body.

I pulled the blankets off her face, to see her beautiful, peaceful expression.

I pressed my lips to her forehead, lightly touching her pale skin with my fingertips.

Slowly, I found a rocking chair in the corner of the room and sat there, watching her sleep.

Could it honestly be because I love her?

Or could it be because I want to get in her pants?

I mean, she's so goddamn _innocent, _yet so sexy at the same time.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings in the car. I didn't want her to feel that way about me. I wanted her to keep her innocence, despite the rumours flying around about her and Jasper. I'm a coward.

I'm not ready to face what I wanted. And I crushed her already broken heart. Because she probably thought I was so easy, I could be her revenge fuck. I could've possibly fixed her in that sick, deranged way.

Or maybe not.

Maybe she really did have it for me.

God, I'm such an asshole.

I want to know what's going through her _mind._

I thought I was fucking cryptic.

Bella's stone. Cold, hard stone.

I've never wanted anyone so bad.

I stood up, walking towards her bed. I listened to her soft and steady breathing.

"Bella," I whispered again, touching her porcelain doll face. I knelt down and breathed in her fruity aroma. This time, I pressed my lips to hers, moving them slowly against her unmoving, perfect, frowning lips.

I felt her hands slowly grab my neck, and as I figured that she had gained consciousness, her lips moved against mine.

I grabbed her face as if it were actually made of porcelain, easy to break.

Bella slowly sat up, her lips never leaving mine. I pulled me towards her, so that was I was forced to get on the bed with her.

It was extremely fucking hard not to go too fast with Bella as her mouth opened against mine, my tongue fighting against hers. She was too fragile. One wrong move and it would all be over. I would wake up from this dream I call reality.

My lips left hers to explore the skin on her neck. I could still taste the salty tears that had escaped her beautiful brown eyes.

Bella threw her head back as I kissed her collarbone, acting as if she were a Queen. She was a Queen. My Queen Isabella.

I've gone insane. Bella has intruded my mind. Clouded it.

Bella pulled off my shirt hastily, starting on my pants. Her lips covered my chest in kisses. Something that she had done so chastely had turned me on completely.

Despite my noticeable hard-on and lack of chivalry when it comes to sex, I controlled myself and let Bella take control.

As her lips reached my navel, my hands had traveled across her back to the clasps of her bra.

She kissed her way back up to my mouth, helping me remove her bra.

I almost lost it as I pinched her dark pink nipples, making Bella omit a loud groan and causing her to go wild and suck on my bottom lip as she pulled down my boxers.

Bella continued onto sucking my neck, most likely leaving love bites I would be staring and grinning like a fool at when I get back home.

As Bella pulled down her sweat pants, and started on her silk panties I groaned.

"Bella. Do you want to do this?"

She answered me by throwing the pink fabric across the room and pushing me back onto the bed. Her lips invaded mine, my hands trailing her soft back.

She went through my pockets of the jeans that were thrown at the edge of the bed and found a condom. My eyes widened at the fact that she knew I always kept one in there. She rolled the condom on my thick member, biting her lip at the contact.

I moaned as she positioned her self on top of me, her eyes smoldering.

As she entered me, we both drew in a sharp breath at the pleasure. My arms flew to her hips as she began to move, my hips bucking deep into her.

"Edwardddd." She drawled, our eyes never losing connection. I held onto her hip with one hand, the other hand finding its way to stroke her throbbing clit.

With this, she moved faster, her walls constricting against me. She closed her eyes and screamed as she reached her climax.

"Edward!" She gasped, riding me harder, making sure I would reach my climax.

I came after Bella, and watched as she rolled off of me, a tired smile on her face.

I gave her a half-smile, knowing that I could never leave her.

I had just ruined her life.

I got up and her smile faded. "Edward, stay. Please. For me."

I looked at the tears in her eyes and melted.

Why am I being so nice?

I'm an asshole.

Bella sighed happily as I lay next to her, kissing her forehead. I wish I could tell her how much I loved her. I couldn't. That'd be traumatic. I heard the rumble of a car in the driveway and both our head turned towards the window.

"Shit." We muttered, standing up to put on our clothes.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted from downstairs after a few minutes. He sounded cheerful.

"Dad. I'm not feeling good." She said, panicking.

"You want me to come up there and give you some medicine?" He said nervously.

Bella looked at me, deciding on what to say. "No. It's girl problems. I just need a nap."

I smiled, putting on my shirt.

Bella turned to me, her phone in her hand. "Wait, let me take a picture."

I gave a questioning look as she put the phone in my direction.

"It's for when you send me a text message or call. Your picture will come up."

I chuckled softly, making sure her father wouldn't hear. I stepped slowly towards Bella and gave her a kiss. "I've got to go. My Dad's going to strangle me if I don't get home tonight."

She frowned, nodding.

I turned towards the window and cringed. I walked back towards Bella and gave her another kiss, making sure I had the taste of her mouth memorized.

I placed a kiss on her forehead and climbed down the tree, smiling.

--------------------------------------------

"Edward. You look like hell." Dad said, shaking his head. "Who was it this time?"

I didn't answer for the first time. His blonde eyebrows shot up.

"Who is it?" He examined the dark red love bites on my neck as if I were a rape victim. "Why aren't you telling me, son?"

My eyes fell to the floor. "Because I'm fucking ashamed." I muttered as his hands stopped prodding around my neck. I swear he was about to strangle me.

"Was it Tanya?"

I shook my head.

"Jessica?"

His eyes narrowed, his voice acidic. "Who the _hell_ did you have sex with that you're so scared to admit to it. You were so proud of yourself last week."

My teeth clenched. "Why the fuck do I have to tell _you? _You never tell me who you're screwing."

His eyes suddenly turned to fire. "Because you're my son. And I'm your father. And you will not use that language with me ever again. Do you understand?"

My posture straightened involuntarily as his hand smacked my face. I refused to let the pain show. "Yes, Father."

He looked at me, his eyes now showing signs of regret. This was nothing new. "Now who was it?" He said softly, his hand weaving through his hair.

"Bella Swan." I said, as if I were a soldier and he were a sergeant.

My eyes dropped again to the floor in shame.

Dad sucked in a breath and shook his head. "You've really ruined this one, Edward. Go to your room."

Gladly, Father.

I walked to my room, looking in the mirror that stood near my bed. As I saw how bad I'd gotten hit, a small bruise on the side of my face, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice showing no signs of emotion.

"I already miss you." A voice answered. Bella. My lifeless heart swelled with joy.

"You too." My monotone voice answered without my permission.

There was a silent pause on the other end. "Edward, are you okay?"

I hummed a joyful tune, hoping this would be my answer.

"Edward." She said sorrowfully. "I'm sorry if you did anything you didn't want to."

I almost dropped the phone. "You didn't do anything wrong!" I gasped.

"Then what?"

I grunted, looking at the door. "Just some problems."

Bella sighed sadly. "I'm sorry Edward. Just keep it positive. And if anything's wrong, Just climb my tree."

I laughed, fucking grateful for having Bella.

We hung up after a few hours, my heart entirely full, if you can fill a demon's heart for that matter.

We had made plans to go out on an actual date tomorrow.

"Anything's better than staying here." I had said, my voice not intending to be mean and spiteful.

And with that, Dad roared with rage and regret on Mom's phone dinged, and I looked at the screen.

Emmett.

_Edward + Bella = ?_

-----------------------------------------

**A/N: Eh? What'd you think?** **Too much? Too little? Give me some ideas. Though, I've got the next few chapters rolling in my head. Give me your insight. Review, please! I'll get on my hands and knees for you guys to PLEASE review.**


	5. Positive Pt 2

1**Hello.**

**I hoped you enjoyed the last chapter.**

**I'd like to get something out before you read on.**

**First, thank you to those that are reading this and reviewing.**

**I really appreciate it. But I'd absolutely love it if you guys reviewed and favorited.**

**I need some feedback. I'm desperate**

**Second, there is a portion of this story that might be a touchy subject for some of you, and I was not going to include it at first, but I felt that since it had some of my past in it, and that Edward's story had to be told somehow, I kept it.**

**Another thing, is that I hope someone would notice something in my story that I put in for fun. People who like musicals would know. -nodnodwinkwink-**

**Aaaand! It's not in the actually story. **

**Enough clues. Figure it out on your own!**

**Kudos to anyone who figures it out!**

**Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**---------------**

"I'm going to go out today." I said, looking at my bowl of cereal in front of me. My father's eyes reminded me of yesterday, when I'd told him I had been with Bella.

"You better be home by nine. Or you're not leaving at all tomorrow. Or maybe for the whole week. I can't trust you anymore, son. You always manage to screw up someone else's life."

I saw him glance at the noticeable but small bruise on my cheek. He had promised, when he stepped into my room at three in the morning, that he would never lay a finger on me ever again. I guess he decided to continue on the verbal abuse.

I ignored his ranting and waited until he went off to work at the hospital. If it honestly weren't for Bella right now, I would've lost it. He's driven me insane.

I love my father. I really do. Somehow. But ever since Esme's sudden abandonment, he's gone fucking Hitler. He was the biggest idol to me, a doctor with a large house, a beautiful wife.

Now he's just an acquaintance. A stranger.

I fucking _loathe _him.

I don't know how I've actually lived with this man for so long, let alone lived at all.

I had one moment a few years ago. I was only fourteen. My father had just finished groaning and moaning about his wife's absence and decided to release his anger on me. He started throwing pots and pans everywhere, yelling at me. I was scared, confused. But I let it slide. It was until a few months after, when it was a constant thing. The yelling, the screaming, the ranting. I was convinced I was never wanted. So I decided to kill myself.

I wrote a long, loving letter, letting no tears escape my eyes. I left my hard-earned cash on my pillow for my father to take and quickly ran over to the kitchen to find a box cutter.

All the other boys and girls in my school were doing it to be cool.

_Don't cut too hard, _the poseurs would warn. _You'll cut a vein and _die.

I hoped I did.

But I didn't.

Maybe living was better way of killing myself.

Or not.

I put away the box cutter, the money, and the letter, and took a shower, my arms screaming in pain, dripping crimson-coloured liquid as if they were crying for me.

Since then, I've been empty. And heartless.

I washed my bowl, my stomach still empty as I threw out the remains of the cereal.

I walked to my room and grabbed the car keys, taking out a cigarette from the box I'd managed to empty in less than two days. It was hard to buy cigarettes with my father around, and it was especially hard to smoke, too.

He's a fucking doctor. He'll figure it out someday.

Starting up the Volvo, I lit a cigarette and held it in between my fingers, the smell of tobacco filling the car. There was no way I'd be able to hide this from Bella. I was lucky enough to have freshened up the car the day before while she was changing.

I drove at my usual speed, frightening drivers everywhere.

As I reached the end of the block, as I had told her to find me, I gave up on trying to hide my problem. Maybe it would drive her away this time.

I stepped out of the car, leaning on the side of it, examining my face in the rearview mirror.

Not so bad.

"Edward!" I heard Bella's excited voice from almost thirty feet away. How she managed to see me was a wonder. She ran towards me and stopped, shocked.

"You smoke?" Her brown doe eyes wide.

I raised an eyebrow as she snatched it away, and dropped it on the floor.

"You're not smoking anymore, asshole." She said angrily, stomping.

I was ready to pull out another one as she stopped my hand from traveling to my pockets and caught the box herself.

I smirked as she threw it across the street, furious.

"They're bad for you." She looked at me softly now, no signs of anger left on her sweet face.

I rolled my eyes. "So am I."

She rolled her eyes back at me. "Like I haven't heard that one before."

I smiled at her annoyed expression and pulled her to me, kissing the skin on her neck. As I kissed my way to her mouth, she pulled away, disgusted.

"I need to get used to that smell."

I tried not to show the small twinge of rejection as she scrunched up her tiny nose. Luckily, I had a pack of gum in my other pocket and fished it out.

"Happy?" I said, diving for a kiss.

She pulled away again. "Please stop smoking. Please."

"Anything for you, Bella." I smiled as she grinned, pleased. I lifted her chin towards mine and kissed her hard.

When we pulled away, I shook my head, laughing.

"We're going about this all backwards."

Bella smiled impishly as we sat in the Volvo.

"What're you up for? I'm starving."

She looked down at her lap, suddenly shy. "I don't want anything." She murmured.

I raised an eyebrow. "Ice cream, then?"

She shook her head.

Did she eat before I picked her up?

"Is there something wrong?" I asked, concerned.

She looked at me, her eyes showing annoyance now. "No. There's nothing fucking wrong, Edward. Let's just do something and you can get your own food."

I reacted instantly, the chivalry I had built with Bella came crashing down. "What's your fucking problem? I asked you what was wrong and you fucking speak to me like I'm your bitch? What the hell?"

The pain on her face was evident. For Christ fucking sakes. Why do I even speak?

"I'm sorry, Edward." She said, her voice empty.

I shook my head. "No. I should be saying sorry."

We sat silently, trying to figure out what was wrong with each other.

"Where are we going?" Bella finally asked as I passed a bunch of buildings.

I smiled, suddenly aware of my surroundings. "I believe we're now in the ghetto."

"Great." She said, something in her voice different. "Is there a ghetto around Forks?"

"No."

Bella made a face. "Well, then. I think we're fucked."

I nodded, smiling a little. "Indeed."

I parked over at a Super Kmart, and we walked inside, watching a bunch of women buy loads of toilet paper, cans of dog food and other useless shit.

We sat at a set up patio display and both slurped on blue slurpees.

Bella actually was happy enough to accept my offer of getting one.

"So how's your dad?" She asked, swinging her long, sexy legs in my direction. I could feel my pants tightening.

I remembered the question. "He's being the perpetual ass that he's always been. Why do you want to know?"

She reached over and touched my bruise with her thumb lightly. "I figured it out last night when I heard your voice on the phone."

I looked at the tiled floors in shame. She spoke again, softer this time. "Does he always hit you?"

"No. This was the first time he'd ever hit me."

She pulled me into a hug, kissing my chest. "Why would he do that to you?"

I sighed, trying not to look at her beautiful face. "Because of you."

Bella sat back up sharply. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No. He wants you to not see me. He thinks I'll fuck up your life. Which, honestly, I agree on."

Bella sat silently again.

"But I can't stay away from you. That's my fucking problem. You're disgustingly addicting."

"Worse than your cigarettes?" She asked, hoping to make light of the situation.

I pulled her close to me again. "Worse than my cigarettes."

Despite the angry, enraged face of my father in my mind, I hugged her tightly.

"You're ruining my image, Swan." I muttered into her hair.

She giggled. "You slaughtered mine. Emmett somehow found out that we fucked yesterday."

I raised my eyebrows. "Do you think...?"

"I'm sure they didn't know you would. Then again, Jessica Stanley lives two houses down. She could've seen you climb into my window."

I grinned. "Or heard you."

I could feel Bella's body flush in my arms.

After a few moments of intimate silence, Bella spoke.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

She shifted in her place in my arms and looked at me. "I have an eating disorder."

"What?"

"I don't eat."

I tried not to show my shock and my pain for Bella. She was so beautiful and so perfect. It was almost laughable how she thought the exact opposite.

I closed my eyes, unable to hide my anger. She traced my bruise with her finger. I opened my eyes and pulled her little hand off of me.

She looked like I had burnt her.

"Bella. You're perfect. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Her eyebrow furrowed. "You know that's not true, Edward."

I pulled her face close to mine, my grip almost frightening. She whimpered. "I know it's fucking true. If you dare kill yourself, you're killing me. I'm now a part of you. I warned you."

Her brown eyes searched through mine, trying to find a loophole, a lie. She had found none and slumped in my grasp. "I can't help it." She pleaded with me, helpless.

"Yes you can. If I can give up my cigarettes, you can start eating normally."

She closed her eyes as I kissed her. I felt the tears of her weakness on my cheeks.

She pulled away and smiled. "Let's go home."

------

"Edward." She whispered as I kissed her neck, her hands wrapped around my back.

I trailed my kisses to the hem of her underwear. She had yet been undressed, as I was in my boxers.

I pulled it off of her thin body and kissed her inner thigh before going back to kiss her lips, my fingers kneading her nipples. Bella pulled off my boxers, panting.

"Bella." I sighed as she bucked her hips upward. I sucked on her neck I entered her, her moans filling my ears.

I moved slowly, my cock throbbing inside of her. She grunted, bucking her hips again, asking for me to move faster.

I pulled one of her nipples in my mouth, sucking on the beautiful flesh.

Bella lifted my chin up to kiss her lips as I thrust into her.

"Edward!" She moaned against my lips as I hit her favorite spot.

I felt her walls constrict against my cock as I felt myself reach my climax.

"You're perfect." I whispered in her ear as she reached her orgasm, and I grunted, meeting mine.

------

"Edward, there's never anything to watch. Listen to me." She giggled against my neck.

We were fully clothed, but still on my bed. I had been flipping channels, anxious on whether or not to hide Bella in my closet when my father came in or make her leave now.

It was 7:30.

I forgot about the television as Bella blocked my view, straddling my hips. "I said you have to listen to me, fucker. Not the television."

She bit her lip as I flipped her over, so that I was on top of her. "I don't think the neighborhood can handle another screaming Bella tonight, so I suggest you let me watch my t.v., alright?"

She smirked, pulling her hands under my shirt. I swatted them, licking the base of her ear. "Bella. Behave yourself. Or I'll punish you."

She threw her head back and laughed.

She fucking _laughed._

Oh it's on, Swan.

I pulled her into a tight hug, a death grip, her hands above her head. She laughed breathlessly, biting my arm _hard._

I let go, yelping in pain.

She kissed me, obviously amused. "I'm sorry."

The sound of my name coming from downstairs made me freeze, my back straight.

"Bella," I hissed. "Go hide in the closet. Grab your stuff. You're leaving after he comes in."

My father walked in as I sat on the bed, pretending to be watching the news.

"Did you have fun today?" He asked, his eyes angry but calm.

I nodded. "Yes, father."

He eyed me suspiciously before leaving my room. I waited a few minutes before I heard him go to his room.

Bella walked out, her face paler than usual.

I led her out of my room and downstairs into the kitchen.

She turned to look at me, her expression sad. "I'll call you when I get home."

I kissed the top of her head and nodded before letting her out quietly. "I'll pick you up tomorrow."

My father stood at the last step of the stairs when I turned around, his eyes angrier now.

------

**A/N: Phew. That was a hard one. Please review and favorite!** **Funny thing about this chapter; I was already done with this chapter and took a break and started reading another fanfiction story, and I was really into it and stuff. And as I'm going through the chapters, I find out that their Edward has the same past as my Edward. At first, I panicked, because I had thought it was **_**so **_**good when I reviewed and fixed it. And I started deleting it to ward off some potential haters. So I tried to fill in Edward's new past, and I thought it was pretty okay. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued reading. Then I noticed that our Bella's had almost the same problem! And what happened to Bella in that story was going to happen in this one! So I had to cut down this ENTIRE chapter. I was furious at myself for letting this happen! But when I read it over, it seemed stupid and cheesy. So I kept it the way it was. And I'm sorry to the author of that story if you feel that I stole your work. I swear I didn't. Honest to Twitter. I'm not gonna drop names either, to avoid trouble. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Love And War

**Hello!**

**I'm sorry if I never put "EPOV" "BPOV" in my story. I thought it would be kinda easy to figure out who's who. I'm still not gonna add it, though. Because I'll probably forget to put it on half the time. Hah.**

**Anyway!**

**Nobody's figured out the musical yet.**

**And one more hint: It has nothing to do with the story. It just labels parts of them.**

**That totally gave it away.**

**Alright, so before I force you to read on, I've got an announcement to make!**

**As I was having writer's block, I wrote a one-shot with Bella and Edward in the 1900's. Then it just grew. So I'll be working on it as well as this one.**

**And I'll tell you if it's worthy to be put up on fanfiction.**

**Thanks. (:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**------------------------  
**

"Edward's such a _huuuuuuuuunk, _Rosalie. I can't believe you don't like him with Bella." Alice argued. We were on three-way, and my eyes were staring at the screen, waiting for Edward to call back.

"I think he's bad news. No offence, Bella." She said.

"None taken. If only he'd fucking call..." I said, exasperated.

Rosalie laughed. "See, Alice? He can't even remember to call after screwing her!"

I rolled my eyes. "He called me yesterday, Rose."

Alice gasped. "You guys did it yesterday, too?"

Rosalie gasped, mocking Alice. "I _cannot _believe Innocent Bella has done such a thing with just any boy. I'm so fucking proud."

Alice giggled. "Me too."

I rolled my eyes again. "I need new friends."

My phone beeped and I perked up from my slumped position.

_Hey, Bells. Just checking up on you. Love you, Dad._

Jesus Christ.

I texted back, furious that he was so annoying.

_I'm fine. I'm not dead. See you later, Bella._

"So, Bella, we'll see you tomorrow, okay?" They had managed to end their conversation without me.

Better for me. "Alright. Bye."

----

He didn't fucking pick me up. I'm so annoyed right now.

I pulled my back pack out of the trunk and attempted to lock the thing.

"Truck, I think you're just trying to piss me off on purpose." I kicked the door and pushed in the key, locking it this time.

I have to abuse it now?

I walked towards the building and saw the bronze mess of hair walk across the parking lot, his back straight like a soldier. His backpack looked like a dead body he was dragging back to camp.

I walked up to him and tapped his arm. "Edward, you forgot to pick me up, you asshole."

He looked at my amused expression, his face stone. My smile drooped. Edward opened his mouth to speak but decided against it and walked towards the building.

"Hey, what was that for?" I pulled on his arm, the few fond memories with Edward flooding through my brain. It immediately knew it was the end. It was smart enough to realize that Edward didn't want me anymore. But my heart didn't. It pumped quickly, hoping that my brain was just being negative.

I let out a sob as he shook off my arm. He stopped, standing straighter than he already was and turned around. His piercing green eyes looked into mine, full of regret and pain rather than tears.

He approached me, shaking his head as I reached over to touch his beautiful face. He planted a kiss on my head before walking with his head down, rubbing his face aggressively.

------

"Jasper, I'm so sorry I scared you." I said as he sat back down in the principal's office.

I was waiting for Charlie to pick me up and take me home. Jasper had found me in the hallway before, crawled up in a corner. He had picked me up and carried me to the nurse, panicking.

He sighed, running his long pale fingers through his honey blonde locks. "It's okay, Bella. I just don't want you to ever be upset."

I was dismissed from school for having a 'mental breakdown.' The nurse said it would be best if I just slept it off and talked with a counselor.

Jasper caught a tear with his thumb, cradling my face.

"Jasper," I whispered. "What reason do I have to stay here?"

His blue eyes flashed with worry. "Bella, you know I'll always love you."

Mrs. Cope, the school secretary, walked in. "Isabella, your father's here."

Jasper let go of me slowly, watching my every move. I ignored him, wiping my face with my sleeve.

I walked out of the office to see Charlie's almost laughable expression— anger, worry, shock. Swans weren't known for having mental breakdowns. We kept quiet in times of conflict.

"Bella, what happened? Who hurt you? What's wrong?" He kept throwing in questions as we walked to the cruiser, all of them remaining unanswered.

I led my body to my room, under the covers.

What reason do I have to stay here?

Name one.

------

Missing school for three weeks is extremely annoying—even if you've made up the work.

I haven't spotted Edward yet, but I've seen Jasper and Emmett, who gave me worried looks as usual.

As I approached Alice, her jaw dropped. She pulled me aside, biting her lip. "Bella, you're so thin. Why?"

I sniffed, looking the other way. "I haven't eaten much. Is that such a fucking crime?"

"Bella, you _promised _that day in the hospital. Promised." Her gigantic eyes filled with tears.

"Promises are meant to be broken."

I walked away, seeing Edward down the hall. Alice pulled me towards her. My head throbbed at the sudden movement.

"Bella. We're going to go eat some doughnuts right now."

I pulled away, feeling my head throb again. I could really care less if I passed out right now. I ate a tangerine this morning. I can handle it. I just want to see Edward.

I ran after Edward, hoping I'd lose Alice on the way.

He turned, his long legs making him move faster than me, even though he was walking and I was running.

I was so close to him. I had to do something to get his attention.

"Edward," I called out, gasping for air. "Edward, please look at me. Turn around"

And he did turn around.

In an instant, his eyes grew wide as he took in my body and I fell to the floor.

Black.

What Edward called himself. Darkness. Evil. Never to be innocent.

And I was drowning in it.

Drowning.

White. What Edward called me. The epitome of innocence. Light.

And I was the exact opposite of it right now. At this moment.

I was black. Darkness. I've gone back to the evils I'd been exposed to before. The evils I had promised Alice and Jasper I'd never see again.

Promises were meant to be broken. Meant to be torn apart.

Like Jasper and I.

Like Edward and I.

Like my heart and I.

Like I.

And I continued to drown in the darkness for a long time. Peacefully.

And I dreamt of Edward.

----

**A/N: Don't hate me for leaving it at that! I'll update soon! I swear. I promise. Tell me what you think. **


	7. Serious Reprise

1**Hey!**

**Okay, about this chapter: **

**Edward thinks he's ruined Bella's life. Which is not true. But his dad put it in his mind his whole life. He believed it after a while. Which is why Edward would never be with someone he liked. It's all in his head.**

**Another thing:**

**There's some more sensitive stuff in here. Sorry. But it's important.**

**Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

----

"Bella!" I saw her frail body crash to the floor, her eyes fluttering upon the impact.

My heart screamed for mercy as I flung my book bag across the hall and ran over to Bella's motionless body.

Girls shrieked, staring at her, pointing. I examined her head, looking for any blood, my heart throbbing for this beautiful woman. I yelled for help, holding her head in my lap. I brushed the hair off of her face, my hands shaking. Her eyelids fluttered open just a bit. Her hand held mine, her skin cold.

I don't think I could recall what happened next.

I was far too busy trying to stop myself from killing someone when Bella was being taken away into an ambulance.

Bella was mine. I was a part of Bella. And I had to ruin it.

I always have to ruin it.

So much has changed. I've been dead—if it's possible for a dead man to die again—since her disappearance. I had left her in the hallway three weeks ago. I thought she'd find someone to hold her like I wanted to.

But I had to leave her.

I would've destroyed her life.

My father had caught Bella leave the house after the best weekend of my life. He'd thrown me against the wall, yelling in my face.

"You talk to her one more time, I'll tell her father. And the entire school. I'll tell them that she's a stupid slut. She must be if she's with you. Only dirty, disgusting girls approach you."

I didn't want to ruin her already tainted image. That's what's most important to Bella—her image. And if I loved her enough, I would keep it as clean as possible.

And I was forced not to speak to her.

And it was fucking torture.

I wanted to talk to her, hold her, kiss her, touch her.

I wanted to hear my name in her voice again.

A moan or a giggle. Not a sob or a plea.

Two days I've loved her. And forever it'll last.

And now she's fucking gone.

I shoved Mike as he walked by, he was happy, as if nothing happened. As if Bella weren't in a fucking ambulance.

"What the hell, Edward?" He rubbed his shoulder.

"Fuck you!" I yelled over my shoulder, fighting the urge to bring my fist to his nose. I wanted to hear the crunch, to see the blood flowing from his nostrils. I was dying to inflict pain.

And I did.

I heard the crunch, and saw the blood flowing from his nostrils.

And I walked away, not satisfied.

I wanted Bella so badly. Who knows if she was okay? I grabbed my keys from my locker and slammed it closed, running towards my car.

"Edward?" A man's voice called from behind me. I stopped to look at who it was.

Whitlock.

"What the fuck are you doing? You have class."

I nodded to my car. He shrugged and followed.

---

"I need to see Isabella Swan, ma'am. I don't know if she's dying!"

The woman behind the large gray desk rolled her eyes. "Will you stop bothering me if I called down the doctor and asked what's wrong with Isabella? That's the only thing I can do."

"Fine."

I grunted, sitting back down next to Jasper as he read a magazine from the pile beside him.

I put my head in my hands, feeling tears explode from my face.

Jasper's hand patted my back. "I'm sorry."

I looked up at him, his face just as sad as mine. He threw his arms around me and hugged me.

"This is my first gay moment, Jasper." I said as we awkwardly put our arms down.

The side of his mouth twitched as I attempted to laugh at his weird expression.

"Sir, the doctor's here. He's ready to talk to you."

I stood up, seeing my father in his usual uniform.

Fuck.

I wiped all signs of tears from my eyes and walked towards him.

"Hello, father." I said, wincing in fear.

There was no sign of anger in his eyes. Probably because there were witnesses. He nodded to me, taking me to a corner. "Bella seemed to have lost consciousness because she hadn't been eating. She used up all her energy. She's getting the proper nutrition, and she's probably going into an Eating Disorder Unit soon. There's no signs of a head injury, but she has a bruise on the side of her head. To sum it all up—she's okay."

I nodded, my hands still shaking. "When will I be able to see her?"

Probably never.

"She's asleep right now. But I can let you and Jasper see her for a bit before Chief Swan gets here." He patted my back.

"Thanks." I coldly said to my father—despite his good intentions — before walking into the elevator, Jasper in tow.

---

"Jasper, I can't do this." I groaned, staring at her sleeping body in front of me.

He looked at me like I was insane. "Do what?"

"Be with her. I've hurt her! I've ruined everything!" I wailed, watching Jasper touch her face. I instantly grew angry. "Get your hands off of her."

He threw me a look. "You know I love her too."

"You had your chance."

"You had yours."

We stood there, fighting over Bella as she was sleeping. And we both knew that she probably didn't want either of us.

Jasper's eyes grew sad again. "God, Edward. I don't know why I love her."

I didn't know either.

I turned to look at him. "How's Alice?"

Jasper frowned. "She's trying to cope with the fact that Bella broke her promise."

There was a promise?

Jasper sighed and put a hand over hers. "She's been here before. She promised us that she was going to start eating. And she did. I guess when we broke up..."

I shook my head. "She started eating again. It's my fault. She stopped eating after I left her."

Jasper nodded and let go of Bella. "I'll leave. You can stay."

I watched him walk past the door before looking at Bella.

"You're perfect." I whispered— just as I had at my house, when Bella in my arms— and kissed her forehead before sitting in the corner of the room, waiting for Bella to wake up.

It was only a few moments later when a frantic Chief Swan came busting through the door.

"Bella! Bella!" He whispered sadly.

I stood up to leave when his eyes caught me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He said, his voice toxic.

I could feel myself shrink. "I don't know. But I'll leave."

"Sit." His hand on the gun in his pocket. "I know you fucked my daughter."

The colour ran from my face.

"Are you the reason why she's in here?"

I nodded, wincing, waiting for the bullet to knock me dead.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, outraged.

"Waiting for you to kill me, sir." I muttered.

He looked at me, probably shocked that I would come to that conclusion, or shocked because I gave up so easily.

He shook his head, looking at Bella. "Did you use Bella?"

"No."

"Revenge sex?"

"No."

"You loved her."

"I love her."

He shook his head again. This was all fucked.

I walked out of the room, out of the hospital, and into my car.

I rode home, daring drivers to near me. So I could slam them into a tree, or a house, perhaps.

----

"Fuck!" I screamed, hating myself. I threw my jacket on my couch.

"Edward." A female's voice called. My head whipped around to see Tanya naked in front of me. My body betrayed me as an erection threatened to burst out of my pants.

"Edward, you looked stressed. So I came here early to relieve you." She purred, coming near me.

Relieve me of Bella? Never.

But despite my thoughts against Tanya, my body reacted the way any man's body would. I tore off my clothes, taking Tanya in my own living room.

"Fuck." I muttered, my cock throbbing.

"Edward. Keep going. Faster."

I ignored her, desperate for my own release.

Lucky for me, we both came at the same time, as Tanya rubbed her clit as I fucked her.

Tanya wouldn't complain this time about coming after.

I rolled off of her, handing her the clothes she left on the counter.

"I've got to clean. Sorry, Tanya."

She frowned. "Are you kicking me out?"

"I told you. I needed to clean." She put on her clothes quickly before coming up to me.

Tanya slapped me across the face before leaving.

I ran to my room, grabbing my clothes that were strewn all over the floor and cried, thinking about how Bella. I had just betrayed Bella.

My shaking hands grabbed for my night stand's drawer. I opened it, finding the box cutter I used so long ago.

Everything was fucked.

I was fucked.

I cut one long stripe across my arm, watching as my skin broke in front of my eyes. I squeezed my skin, watching the beads of crimson drip along the side of my arm.

I watched blankly as my hand drew another pretty stripe along my arm. I looked down at the floor. The white marble was now covered in droplets of blood. Like a masterpiece.

So beautiful.

Like Bella.

I stood up, just as I had a few years ago, and went to take a shower.

But this time, my arms weren't screaming in pain.

I stood under the stream of water, the floor of the tub a light red, feeling nothing.

No pain at all.

Because I ruined Bella.

----

**A/N: I've got one favour that needs to be done! Listen to Oh My God by Ida Maria. It sums this chapter up a bit. Tell me what you think.**


	8. Chip On My Shoulder Pt 1

1**Greetings.**

**School is almost over for me. Yay!**

**So I decided that I'd do an update.**

**Warning: Fluff.**

**I hate fluff, but it was needed.**

**You know how girls are.**

**Still waiting on someone to figure out my little musical cameo.**

**Read on, darlings.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anybody. Kthnx.**

**---**

I woke up a few times.

But I was so damn tired.

I slept even more.

"Bella!" A voice called out for me. I was covered in kisses.

"Mom?" I groaned, my body and voice weak.

"Bella! You're okay. I was so worried."

A very tired Charlie neared me and put a hand on my arm. "Bella, don't ever scare us like that again."

I nodded.

"You've been asleep for a little bit over a day. Do you want to go home? They said you're fine. You just..." Renee's voice trailed off, her eyes glued to the floor.

I looked at Charlie. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it instead.

Renee looked at me. "You've been signed up into a Eating Disorder Program. It's something we had to do, honey. We don't want you to be like...this. Ever again."

I nodded, tears escaping from my eyes. "Can I just go home?"

They both nodded solemnly.

We all rode in the car silently, and as Charlie escorted Renee to the hotel she was staying in, I saw a flash of bronze in a gray Volvo.

Edward.

I've got to talk to him.

I fished through my sweater, frantically dialing his number.

Straight to Voicemail.

I texted him, my hands shaking.

_Edward. I miss you. _

I needed Edward back. I needed him. He was my lifeline now.

Charlie sat back in his seat, buckling up. My eyes searched through the streets of Forks for that Volvo.

_Please, _I texted. _Come over. I need you._

_----_

"And if you need anything, just knock on my door. I'll be here. I just don't wanna stick around and hover... You teenagers always need space." Charlie babbled on before walking out to do some work he missed.

My phone buzzed, and I instantly flipped it open. _Bella, just checking up on you. Text back. I love you, Mom._

I wrote her back, frowning. _I'm fine. I love you, too._

I went over to the window and opened it, making sure that Edward wouldn't have a hard time when he came in. If he even came.

I buried myself under my covers and grabbed for the remote.

There's never anything to fucking watch.

I watched an infomercial, glancing at the window.

Bronze hair, broad shoulders, perfect face, crooked smile, perfection. Sitting on my window sill.

"Edward!" I threw the blankets off and threw my body onto Edward's. He braced himself for the impact, standing up and opening his arms wide. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my hands wrapping around his smiling face.

"I missed you. Please don't leave me. Please. Never." I couldn't help but let the tears flow as I kissed his lips. I was just so damn happy. I don't want him to leave.

His hands held onto my hips, pulling me back slightly so that he could speak without me devouring his plump lips.

"I'll never leave you, Bella. I promise you that I'll always be with you."

I nodded, kissing his neck. "Make love to me, Edward." I whispered onto his neck, goose flesh rising on his skin.

"No," He chuckled. "You just got out of the hospital!"

I inched one of my hands under his shirt. "Please, Edward. I need you."

Edward trailed hot kisses on my neck. I threw my head back in delight as he bit into my flesh.

My hands tried to take off my shirt, but Edward's hands caught mine, throwing them around his neck as his kisses grew less fervent.

"Edward," I grunted, annoyed.

He chuckled, putting me back on my feet. As he kissed my forehead, I yawned, the medication getting to me again.

"I'll let you sleep." Edward said, heading towards the window.

I panicked, my heart flying. "No! Edward!"

He smiled slyly, walking back towards me. "I'll stay if you don't try to take our clothes off."

Deal. Just stay.

Edward took off his sweater and joined me on my bed.

My eyes caught something.

My heart broke into pieces.

"What?" He said, studying my confused expression.

I pulled out his right arm and stared at the long, dark red stripes along his wrist.

He pulled his arm back, as if he were in shame.

"How long ago was this?" I pulled it back out and traced the lines lightly.

He looked at me, his green eyes piercing through mine. "Yesterday."

I pulled his arm to my lips and kissed it. "I'm sorry."

I laid my head onto his chest, both of our eyes drooping as we watched nonsense television.

I just thanked God for giving Charlie the night shift.

---

**Don't think I'm letting Edward and Bella off easy. I see some trouble ahead. Woohoo! Reviewers get a sneak peek of the next chapter within 2 days of posting a review.**

**Song for this chapter and others on my profile.** **(:**


	9. Chip On My Shoulder Pt 2

1**Ew. It's been so long. School finished. Yay.**

**And I have nothing to do but write. Yet, I haven't update. **

**Tsktsk.**

**Well, here's a chapter. Part two of Chip On My Shoulder. There will be a third part before "So Much Better" and "Whipped Into Shape" and the last chapter for this story before the epilogue will be called "Find My Way". :')**

**I don't want it to end!**

**Edward and Bella should get into more trouble! **

**So read on!**

**Disclaimer: I own nobody. **

**---**

"Edward," Bella shook me awake. Her cute little pout and crazy bed hair was not helping my Morning Wood. I shifted over, hoping Bella wouldn't notice.

But Horny Edward hoped she did.

She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "Good morning."

I grunted and pulled her to me—making sure I put a pillow between Bella and my ever-present erection—to go back to sleep. She pulled away, giggling.

"You have to go to school," She stroked my cheek with the tips of her fingers.

I rolled my eyes at her and closed my eyes again.

I felt something soft hit my head. I opened my eyes to see Bella threatening to somehow impale me with a stuffed monkey.

"Get up, fucker."

I groaned, half annoyed and half turned on by her demanding voice.

I walked into the bathroom and Bella followed. As I ran a hand through my hair, Bella kissed my back, making me utter a groan. I turned around and saw that she had disappeared.

After I was done brushing my teeth with the brand-new toothbrush Bella gave me, I walked back into her bedroom to find her splayed across her bed, her eyes closed.

I quietly made my way on her bed, hovering over her delicate body and softly kissed her neck.

She jumped, startled, but smiled after the shock subsided, weaving her fingers in my hair.

"Edward...you've got to go to...to school." She said, giggling.

I realized something and smirked onto the skin of her neck. "I'll go, but I'm sure I'll be right back."

Bella gave me a questioning look.

"Just wait for me. Go eat breakfast. Please." She nodded, wincing, and I kissed her forehead before climbing out of her window, just in case Chief Swan was home.

I looked at the clock on my phone. I had no time to go back home and change, so I made my way into my car that was parked about five blocks away from the Swan residence and drove to school.

As I sped off, making sure I'd make it to school as fast as possible, I thought about Bella.

Where did we stand? Is what we had this morning and last night considered a relationship?

I can't leave Bella. It would kill me to leave her.

Was what I had with her considered love? Can I heartless man be in love?

Of course I can. My father fell in love, didn't he?

I swatted away the questions in my head and focused on the road.

---

", you must understand that what you did was _wrong. _And if you don't realize this, I might lift your suspension and make it into an expulsion, and you know I don't like expelling my students." was really busting her shit about me punching Mike Newton in the face. I love it. She looked extremely mad, her fingers pulling at her fake blonde hair.

I nodded, trying not to show my smile.

"You're suspended until next week, Edward. And you have to make up your work. The suspension starts now."

Well give me a wig and call me Hannah Montana, I've got three days of Bella time, considering her time she has to rest at home after the hospital.

I almost skipped out of the principal's office, taking one last glance at Mrs. Bundy's large funbags, and grabbed the car keys from my pocket.

"Dude!"

I saw Jasper run up to me, confused. "Where the hell are you going now?"

"Bella's. I'm suspended."

Jasper pursed his lips. "No, you're not."

I looked at him as if he were crazy. "Why the fuck not?"

Whitlock's hands balled up into fists. "Because I fucking said so."

I laughed, walking to my car. Jasper followed me, like the annoying puppy he is and started yelling at me like a madman, his Southern drawl coming out just a bit.

"You're gonna use her, right? Jus' like you did with 99 percent of this school's fuckin' woman population? Who haven't you fucked?"

I turned to look at Jasper's crazy eyes. "At least I didn't fuck her best friend."

"Fuck you, Cullen!"

---

"Edward?" Bella looked at me, confused. "What are you doing here? And why is Jasper sending me tons of text messages telling me to lock all my doors and windows? What's going on?"

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I got suspended for three days by Principal Bundy. And Jasper is being a jealous motherfucker. Now, did you eat?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did. What the fuck did you get suspended for?"

"Punching Newton."

Bella groaned. "My God, you're such a bastard, do you know that? And what happened with Jasper?"

I hesitated, and Bella narrowed her eyes at me. I sighed again, running a hand through my hair. "He doesn't want me with you."

I was expecting the doorbell to ring, breaking Bella's eye contact with me.

"Bella, that's Jasper. Don't get it." I pulled her to me, enveloping her into a kiss. She pulled away, angry.

I ran after her as she dashed down the stairs, her tiny feet running for the door.

She swung it open. "What the hell is wrong with everybody?!"

Jasper's eyes showed nothing but sympathy to Bella. When he saw me, of course his eyes showed nothing but malice.

"Tell me! What's _up _with everybody?"

The sickening silence wasn't giving any answers to Bella, whose eyes filled with tears. I pulled her to me, kissing her hair.

Then Jasper lunged for me.

"You fuckin' asshole!" He barked as he threw me to the floor. My fist flew to his face, probably breaking his nose.

Bella shrieked, distancing herself from the fight that was going on in her own fucking living room.

"Get the fuck off of me, you prick." I spat as he attempted to punch me in the face. I rolled over so that I could get in a good punch in the groin before punching him in the face again.

A pair of large hands grabbed me off of Jasper's body and onto a chair.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Emmett's booming voice yelled to both of us. "You scared the shit out of us."

Rosalie patted Bella's back as she sobbed into her fingers.

"We thought you guys were being fucking robbed when we drove by and the front door was wide open." Rosalie said quietly.

"Jasper, get your ass back to school."

Rosalie threw Jasper a death glare before running back to her large boyfriend.

Jasper walked out the door without saying a word.

What the fuck.

He comes by to kick my ass and leaves.

My life.

"Bella?" I looked at her frail body guiltily.

She looked up, her eyes bright red. I looked at myself in the mirror. The bruise on the side of my face that my father gave me was now greeted by another.

I held out my hand.

She took it.

And we walked out of the house.

---

"Table for two." I muttered to the waiter who had no shame in eyeing up a teenage girl with a date. I growled under my breath, holding Bella closer to me as he brushed by her to find a table.

"Shh, Edward," Bella purred, stroking my cheek.

I glared at the waiter as he sat us down, trying to look down Bella's shirt.

God.

I ditched my seat and slid next to her, my thumbs making circles on her bare legs. She decided to wear a skirt.

Fuck.

She put her hand on mine.

"Edward, tell me stuff abut yourself that I don't know."

I groaned in disbelief. Everything? There's nothing interesting about a monster.

"Well, did you know I used to be best friends with Emmett and Jasper?"

Bella's eyebrows shot up. I nodded. "Yep. The best of friends. And I did something that didn't seem...brotherly. I guess."

I looked down in shame. "I got one of Emmett's ex-girlfriends pregnant and left her."

Bella frowned, letting go of my hand quickly. As if I had burned her.

"What about Tanya?" She asked almost bitterly.

I squirmed uncomfortably. "She was one of my usuals."

"Do you still talk to her?"

I shook my head. "I sorta gave up on her...and everyone else. But I did mess with her while you were in the hospital. I was angry at myself. And she just threw herself at me. And I took the opportunity." I closed my eyes, furious with myself.

Bella's hands held my face as I still kept my eyes closed. She pressed her lips against mine, giving me the sweetest of kisses before letting go of me.

"Thank you," She whispered. She looked up at the waiter who looked at her longingly.

She blushed and asked politely for mushroom ravioli. I asked for the same.

"You're staying with me tonight, right?" Bella said, making hearts on my leg under the table. I kissed her cheek, glad that she had asked.

"Fuck yeah, I am."

Bella laughed, burying her head in my chest as we waited for our orders.

I knew Bella wasn't going to eat anything on her plate, but I was fine knowing she would try.

For me.

**A/N: I've got a chip on my shoulder...and it's big as a boulder. With the chance I've been given, I'm gonna be DRIVEN AS HELL! I'm so close I can taste it and I'm not gonna waste it! Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder. You might wanna get one as well. ;)**


	10. Whipped Into Shape

1**I'm so so so **_**so **_**sorry for the long wait. Sorry! I've been extremely busy with all this stuff. I don't like this chapter myself. But it's got everything in it. And it's pretty long. So, tell me if you like it or loathe it.**

**Oh, by the way, I felt 'Whipped Into Shape' fit this chapter better than 'Chip On Your Shoulder.'**

**It doesn't really matter, anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**---**

My God.

Bella was so fucking beautiful in the mornings.

It was exactly 7:15 in the morning, and I snuck out of Bella's grasp to go home before my Dad knocked on the door of my room.

"Bye, Son." He said before eyeing my room for any girls.

Little did he know I was crashing at Bella's every night since I came over to her window.

It was such an exhausting process, being with Bella. I sometimes wondered if it was even worth it. We never declared our relationship.

But we kissed such sweet fucking kisses. And every touch was amazing.

It was definitely fucking worth it.

And if Bella weren't so amazing, I would've complained about how we haven't had sex since that amazing weekend. And I'm one-hundred percent sure it's for the best, though I don't know why.

She was so smart. And had an amazing taste in music. Her soft spot for The Cure is one of the best things about her.

I think absolutely loved Bella.

Deep in my twisted fucking heart, I really did.

But of course, I didn't have the balls to tell her.

Isabella Swan was a walking wet dream. When she came back home from her Eating Disorder group, she chose to take off her sweater because "it was too hot in the house." She had nothing but a white tank top on, which let me see her pink laced bra underneath. I almost drooled. I called bullshit when I looked at the thermostat in the hallway that was currently turned off. The thermometer next to it said the house was a little over fifty degrees. _So _warm. Right.

Her long legs were always smooth and touchable. We spent many nights exploring each other's bodies, but I always had the most fun running my hands down her thighs, kissing her knees, and kissing her toes which were always painted green, her current favorite colour.

"It's the same colour as your eyes." She blushed, pulling the covers over her head.

Her perfect lips were mine to nibble on and kiss.

I groaned, thinking about Bella's lips on mine and accidently passed a red light.

"Fuck," I muttered. I needed Bella so badly.

I shook it off and parked next to a grocery store.

Searching through the aisles, I found a rose for Bella and a pack of Newport cigarettes at the front desk for myself.

"Still smoking, Edward?" A cold, nervous voice asked behind me. I felt a shot of anger flare through my system. Of course Whitlock had to come to the same grocery store I shopped at.

I kept walking down the aisles, ignoring the urge to beat him silly. He continued to push my fucking buttons, following me as I searched for a nonexistent item.

"Cullen, do you really truly love Bella?"

I felt my body tense at the sound of her name, my hands snapping the stem of the rose I held. I turned around to see Whitlock's panicked eyes again. This guy was fucking insane!

"Tell me, Cullen! Do you love her?"

I studied his face carefully. His wide, bloodshot eyes, his sudden disinterest in the thing he cared about most—his appearance. I shook my head in disapproval.

"Jasper, are you doing drugs?"

He shrugged, as if it were nothing. "Are you in love with Bella? Edward? Does she love you?"

Christ.

I stepped closer to him, my anger still too much to be within arms distance. "You know that shit doesn't help, Whitlock. Does Alice know?"

He laughed humourlessly. "It works. It works." He shook his head, wailing. "Alice doesn't know. She's mad at me because I'm still thinking about Bella. I'm still so guilty. I hurt Bella! Bella."

I looked at the cashier lady who obviously didn't care that some guy was having an episode in her own store.

"Edward," he whined. "Do you love Bella? Tell me. So I can be happy with Alice. I don't want to be guilty! I'm guilty for killing Bella!"

I sighed. "Yes, I do. I...love Bella." I looked at my shoes, ashamed. "Jasper, how'd you get here?"

"My feet."

I groaned. "That's about seven miles. I'll drive you home. Stop using that shit, do you hear me?"

He nodded, his nose running. "How is Bella? Did you know I still have feelings for her? Alice thinks so. Is Bella short like Alice?"

I walked him out of the store, throwing the rose and cigarettes in a basket before leaving.

"Cullen, are you hitting Bella?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

I shook my head.

"Bella's a good kisser. And a good fuck. Oh, man. So good."

I put my seat belt on, my hands aching to punch him in the face.

"She's _so _good. She sings when she's riding me. Always. Sings! Like a _bird_. So _good_." Jasper sniffed, scratching his head.

I sighed in relief as he changed the subject to school. "Lauren Mallory said she thought I was hot. Am I hot, Edward? Edward? Hello? You listenin'?"

I grunted, watching the streets pass by.

Whitlock decided to give up on talking and rested his head on the window. After a while, he sighed sadly. I rolled my eyes.

"What, Jas?"

He sighed again. "I really fucked up. Alice hates me. Bella hates me. Rose and Em hate me. You hate me. My dad don't care. I'm fucked."

"That's life, Whitlock."

He wiped a tear away, pouting. "I don't like life right now, dude."

I sighed this time. "I don't either."

"But you have Bella."

"But I have Bella."

Jasper grinned to himself. "And I have Alice."

---

"Edward," Bella sighed happily as I kissed her neck gently. "Where were you?"

I twisted my fingers in her beautiful brown hair. "Home. I had to go do something."

She moaned quietly as I sucked on the sensitive skin above her ear.

"Tell me, Isabella. Why are you so fucking appealing?So fucking _delicious?_" I said, smirking at her reaction. She was literally panting, her fingers once again entangled in my hair.

"Tell me." I urged, nibbling on her ear.

She continued to ignore me, wrapping her long legs around my body. I could feel her heat through her clothes.

"Bella," I reprimanded, pulling away, "I asked you something. Answer."

Bella whimpered, pulling me to her again. "I...I don't know why."

I kissed her neck, my hands inching up her shirt. "Silly Bella, you're extremely beautiful. Didn't you know? Didn't anybody tell you?" I kissed her jaw, feeling her hands slide down my back to grab my ass.

"Answer me, Bella," I growled, my hands massaging her beautiful breasts.

She threw her head back, moaning softly. "No, Edward."

I almost felt angry at her response. Bella was the most sought-after girl in Forks. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I suddenly felt this strange emotion flow through my body, making me forget the rock-hard erection in my pants, making me forget how much I needed to be inside of Bella.

I just needed Bella to know how special she is to me. How perfect she is in my eyes.

With this, I kissed her lips, now cupping her face in my hands. "You're beautiful, Bella. You're the most amazing woman in my world. You're one-hundred percent to me."

When we both came back for air, her chocolate-brown eyes were filled with tears. "Thank you. I...really appreciate it."

I nodded, rolling over to the other side of her body.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I glanced at the message on the screen.

From: Jasper

_Tell Bella that she has a great asshole of a boyfriend._

_Thanks for bringing me home._

I couldn't help but smile. Jasper had been the opposite of what I was when I had my shit taken away from me. He gladly gave it up, watching as the powder was flushed down the toilet. He hugged me, telling me to put the seat down, or he'll get in trouble later when Alice comes.

I, however, was not so grateful. My father pulled the drugs from under my bed and threw it in the toilet without saying a word. I threw myself at him, crying over how much I'd spent and how much I hated him. He caused it. He was going to pay someday, I thought.

I shook the cloudy thoughts from my head, pulling Bella into my arms once again.

I kissed the top of her head, content

Bella yelped, hiding under the covers as the door swung open.

Normally, this would've caused me to close my eyes and wait for the angry father to beat me to a pulp, but this wasn't the case.

Nor was it her father.

Great. It's the tiny one.

"Hi, Edward." Pixie-bitch waved towards me and pulled the comforter down, revealing a very scared Bella Swan.

"Isabella Marie _Swan! _You stupid _bitch!_ You didn't call! You could've died. Or been in a coma. Jesus, Bella! Do you know what I've been dealing with? A druggie of a boyfriend, Bella! It's so horrible! I came over today to eat breakfast with him and he was _high. _I didn't even know what to do! God, Bella. You're so fucking selfish. You haven't called!"

I blinked, looking at Bella, who was pursing her lips in thought.

I looked at the clock. 9:27 a.m.

Nobody sleeps anymore.

"Did he tell you why?" She asked quietly, playing with the hem of my shirt.

Alice grabbed a bottle of nail polish from Bella's night stand and started to paint her nails nonchalantly. "Because of you. Duh. He's still feeling 'guilty' for cheating on you. Sorry about that, though. I didn't think you'd find out. But yeah, he's horrible. I'm breaking up with him today."

This is where I jump in and save the day.

`"Don't, Alice." I warned, scratching my head nervously.

They both looked at me curiously. "Look, don't leave him. To sum it all up, the drugs are gone. He was ready to give it up. He doesn't want to leave you, Alice. He just wanted to know if Bella was okay."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "And is she?"

I nodded. "Perfectly fine."

Alice then began to wail. I can see why she and Jasper are so perfect for each other. "I love my Jazzy! He's just such an _asshole! _I wanna punch him, but I wanna fuck him senseless, too."

"Ew."

"I'm leaving. I'll call you, Bella, after I'm done fucking Jasper senseless. I'm saving option number one for later."

Jesus.

How'd she get in the house?

We both laid back on the bed, wrapped in blankets.

"Bella?"

Well, fuck.

Now this is where I close my eyes and wait to get punched silly.

"Oh, my God. Bella?" Chief Swan eyed both of us, turning scarlet from anger.

Bella bounced up from the bed, fully clothed. Thank you, Jesus.

"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Edward, meet my Dad, Charlie Swan."

Bella gave me a look that told me "You better get the fuck up and shake his fucking hand or I'll fucking slaughter you myself."

I got up from the bed, thankful for Alice's interruption. If I had gotten up with an hard-on, I would've gotten my balls shot, too.

I held out my hand to Chief Swan, who currently looked like he was shitting a kidney stone. He refused to take my hand.

He looked at Bella. "So you go from Jasper Whitlock to this piece of scum? This is a new low, Bella." Chief Swan shook his head. "Get him out of my house."

"Dad, you're being—"

"I told you to get him out of my house before I shoot his face off, Bella."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked to the first door I could find.

"Edward, you're staying here." Bella said, her voice shaky. She blocked the door.

Chief Swan put his hand on the gun on his belt. "Keep walking, Cullen. Get out of my house."

"He's not moving."

"Yes, he is." He took out his handgun, my heart racing. Should I run? Should I jump out the window? "He's scum, Bella. Word gets out. Don't you hear gossip? He's screwed tons of girls, Bells. Do you really want that kind of boy?"

I looked at my shoes in shame.

Bella sobbed, her fists clenched. "This is my boyfriend! He helped me go back to eating. I can't believe you're treating him like...like shit."

"He is shit, Bells." He said softly, as if they were calming words.

I hung my head low, tears stinging my eyes.

"You're disgusting. No wonder Renee left you." Bella spat at her father as I left the house, running to my car.

"Edward!" I heard her yell as I turned up the volume on my stereo.

I drove off, indeed feeling like the biggest asshole on earth.

Feeling angry, at myself for making such crap decisions in the past. And at Charlie for treating Bella like that.

I stopped at a grocery store, parking on the side of the road to call Bella.

It didn't take too long for her to pick up.

"Edward!" She yelped into the phone, still crying.

"Shh, Bella. Don't cry. Where are you?" I couldn't help but let the tears flow, my fists clenched.

She continued to cry, making my heart shatter. "I don't know...a bench on the s-side of the highway."

Jesus fucking Christ.

When I didn't answer, she began to sob louder.

"Bella, Bella. Calm down." I sighed, my head against the steering wheel.

With a shaky breath, I sang into the phone.

Bella's favorite song. The song I referred to as the "cheesiest song in the history of songs other than anything composed by Lionel Richie."

"I don't care if Monday's black. Tuesday, Wednesday — heart attack."

Bella whimpered, calming down.

"Thursday, never looking back. It's Friday, I'm in love. Monday, you can hold your head. Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed. Or Thursday, watch the walls instead. Bella, it's Friday, I'm in love..."

---

**A/N: Who doesn't love The Cure? Tell me what you think. We're getting closer to the end. ): The song for this chapter is pretty obvious, but it'll be on my profile. Go ahead and listen to each and every song on there. And if you're having trouble finding Allison Weiss songs, PM me and I'll find 'em for you.**

**I want you whipped into shape! When I say "jump" say 'how high?'**

**You know you're doin' it right. When you start to cry! If you don't look like you should,**

**You got to Whip it! Whip it! Whip it good!**


	11. Take It Like A Man

1**Hello there, lovely readers! This is the second to last chapter of this story. I know, it's horrible. But I still enjoyed writing it.**

**Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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Edward's hand was heavy on my knee as we rode along the highway. I'd already sent a message to Charlie about sleeping over a friend's house.

He couldn't force me into staying with him.

I was more like Charlie in most ways. But I could also leave him the same way Renee did.

I shook the acidic thoughts from my head, feeling guilty.

Suddenly, Edward's hand felt heavier. Almost hostile. I turned to look at his perfectly calm face. Blank.

I looked down at his hand, the pressure just too much.

Angry, I picked up his hand. What surprised me was that he had no grip on me. His hand flopped off of my leg. I looked at his hand in confusion.

Edward threw a worried glance at me.

I picked up his hand again. I felt afraid. That his hand would crush me. Or that Edward would hurt me. And leave me.

For a moment, I felt afraid. But I picked up his hand and kissed it.

Edward glanced at me.

And his glance was filled with happiness.

A happy calm.

---

Edward pressed a finger to his lips as he stepped into his house. He had told me his father wasn't going to be home for the next few days, but wasn't sure if he had left yet.

"It's fine, Bella." He sighed, sitting on the couch.

The tension between us was unbearable. I couldn't fucking bear it.

"Can we please talk?" I said, my voice shaky.

Edward's eyes had a flash of anger in them. "What is there to talk about? I'm shit. Your father said so."

"You know he was just angry, Edward! Why are you constantly fucking sulking in self-pity! Be a man and fucking love me the way you want to."

Edward shook his head, laughing humourlessly, "God, Bella. You just don't fucking understand. You're perfect, innocent Bella. You wouldn't know. Perfect Isabella fucking Swan."

I stood in front of him, pulling up my shirt. I pointed to my ribs, which were still prominent. "I call this perfect. Don't you?" My voice wasn't my own. It was strange, lethal. I knew Edward didn't like the fact that I was so skinny.

"Shut the fuck up, Bella." He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

I slapped him across the face, my teeth clenching, "How dare you."

He opened his eyes, tears clearly threatening to pour out. "I'm sorry."

I sat next to him, my hand in his. "We're so fucked, Edward. Don't leave me."

He shook his head again. After a moment, he spoke, "I won't leave you. But your father..."

I grabbed his face with one hand, "He can deal with it. Charlie can't do anything."

With a shaky breath, Edward nodded, kissing my lips once, twice.

---

"I'll see you at lunch." Edward kissed my forehead before walking towards his locker.

Rosalie waved me over. When I walked over to her, she gave me a scowl.

"You never called, Bella."

I looked at my shoes, "I'm sorry. I was doing the massive amount of homework Mr. Banner gave us."

Emmett laughed, making me jump. "Doing homework, or Cullen?"

I blushed, remembering what happened last night. We still haven't succumbed to having sex. Or making love, as I now put it. But we have been going as far as we could. Edward's fingers working magic in places deemed forbidden...

"I see you've forgotten me. Alice told me you called her." Rosalie was always a jealous bitch. Even with her friends. So possessive.

I sighed, "Sorry, Rose. I'll call you today if you want. I think I'm finally going back home."

Emmett raised his eyebrows, "Whoa. It's only been a day. Stubborn Bella has left the building? Maybe I should go high-five Eddie..."

I ignored Emmett. "I feel bad for Charlie. He can't stand being alone. He left me sixteen texts saying sorry."

Rose frowned, "Poor guy."

I caught Jasper staring at me from the corner of my eye.

Once he got my attention, he started walking towards me.

"See ya, Bells." Emmett messed up my hair before walking away with Rosalie, his arm around her tiny waist.

Well, fuck.

"Bella, I'm sorry. For everything."

He looked so damn sincere. My heart broke into billions of pieces.

I nodded, smiling as he hugged me in pure happiness.

I almost forgot how much of a drama queen Jasper was.

"Thank you Bella. So much!" He said to my shoulder.

For a second I forgot how much of a jackass Jasper was.

"Is it wrong of me to tell you I have a hard-on right now?"

I laughed, disgusted. "You just had to be of the same species as Edward."

---

"Dad, this is Edward. My boyfriend." I awkwardly re-introduced Edward to my father.

It was a beautiful Friday evening. Charlie agreed to have dinner with Edward. And Edward agreed to come. He was practically shitting his pants when I opened the door.

Charlie held out his hand and Edward took it. Charlie smiled awkwardly, almost apologetically as Edward nervously sat down at the table.

It took only five minutes for both of them to get semi-comfortable.

"You can't tell me that Michael Vick is still a major hero. That dude killed dogs, Chief Swan."

"But he was amazing at football, boy. You kids only care about the poor little dogs."

Edward scoffed. "Please. I hate dogs. They smell, they piss everywhere, and they make too much noise. But Vick should still be in jail. What he did was morally wrong."

And they continued the conversation. I never knew my dad was so heartless. I always thought he loved dogs. And I thought Edward couldn't give a shit about dogs.

Oh, well.

"Thanks, Chief Swan, for letting me have dinner with you." Edward said after having a debate on some random baseball team.

"No problem. You can come over for dinner anytime, man."

Man? Aw, Jesus Christ.

"Bye, Bella." Edward kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

Charlie cleaned the dishes, going on about how amazing Edward was. "Who knew he was such a cool kid?"

I rolled my eyes, smiling, before going upstairs to bed.

Edward, thankfully, was already there, grinning like a fool.

I locked the door, and went over to straddle his lap. "Did you know you're a cool kid?"

Edward nodded, kissing my lips with a smile that seemed to be permanent.

------

**A/N: Reviews are great. Even if this a bit short. The next chapter 'Find My Way' will be the last one for this story. But you can haul your booty over to my other story 'The Bus Stop Chronicles!' **

**(But, if I get lots of reviews for this and the next chapter, I might throw in some deleted sexy scenes. Winkwink.)**

**Here you'll become what your suppose to be**

**You think you can't but you can.**

**Think of the guy you want most to be.**

**Not quite the guy I'd of chose to be, but when she's standing so close to me I think I like her plan.**

**Here's your chance to make it(Your chance to make it)**

**So take it like…(So take it like)**

**A man!!!**


	12. Find My Way Epilogue

**Sorry I took so long! I was on vacation! Here's the last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**---**

Bella and Edward were always on some strange road. The twists and turns were almost unbearable for them. But somehow, they were together the entire way.

Their relationship grew and bloomed through high school and college.

Edward moved out of his father's house and bought himself a nice cottage somewhere far from Forks, but close enough so Bella could visit everyday and sleep over and eventually live there.

Carlisle wasn't too fond of Edward and Bella's relationship, but kept a sad distance from his son and supplied him with as much money as they needed. Edward's protests against his father's helpfulness eventually made Bella grow angry.

"He's your father. Shouldn't he be allowed to help? If he feels that he needs to give you money, give him that. He's sorry."

Edward wouldn't let him have that. He spent a lot of the money he received to send it right back. He didn't notice how angry he was becoming by playing the game. It wasn't until he threw a glass at the wall near Bella that he noticed what kind of monster he really became.

Because of Carlisle.

"I don't think we should do this anymore. I don't know you anymore."

And Edward eventually grew angrier at Carlisle. For ruining his love with Bella.

But he couldn't help hating himself.

And when Bella found her lover passed out on the kitchen counter with an empty bottle of whiskey to his right, she cried. For ruining their love.

She whispered thank you to the heavens when she heard his heavy breathing.

And Bella kissed him awake.

And she forgave him, ignoring the taste of alcohol on his tongue.

Edward also forgave himself. And Carlisle.

A year later, Edward took Bella to their old highschool, a ring burning in his pocket.

He brought her to her locker, rusty from too much use.

And Edward was surprised when she pulled out a ring from her own pocket as he knelt down on one knee.

"I was meaning to give you this on our anniversary, but I guess I'll have to do it now. You beat me to it. Will you stay with me forever?"

With tears in their eyes, they both answered yes and ran. They ran home. And they made love.

A few years pass, and they're making love to each other.

After his climax, Bella whispered into Edward's ear.

"I love you forever. I'm pregnant."

Edward smiled and rolled over to hover over his love. He kissed her pink lips until they were red, and they made love until dawn. In joy, in love.

A few months later, Edward kisses Bella's forehead tenderly as she nurses their newborn baby boy named after its father.

And when he sat down, he started crying. Tears rolling down his face, his neck. Edward cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Bella watched, alarmed by her husband's breakdown.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

He couldn't say. He was so overwhelmed with so many different emotions. Bella's hand was reaching for the nurse's button, but she pulled back. She didn't want to interrupt.

"Come here. Sleep next to me."

He wanted to tell her that he was happy that he was going to be a father, but he was sad that he didn't feel like he was going to be good enough, and he was mad at himself for thinking he'd be like his own father.

But instead, he kissed both of their foreheads and fell asleep while Bella put the baby in the little bed the hospital provided her with.

And after that, when Bella and Edward put little Edward to sleep after a long day at the playground, Edward smirked, pulling her to their room.

"My God, Edward. This is amazing."

He put candles in every corner, on every desk. He pressed his lips to her neck, her bare shoulder. She threw her head back, giving him better access, and threw her arms around his neck.

His carefree fingers quickly but softly inched up her shirt and removed her bra. He shrugged off his pants, kissing the length of her neck as she hooked her leg around his waist.

"I love you," She panted, biting Edward's ear as he unbuttoned her shirt slowly.

They tumbled onto the bed, pulling off the rest of their garments. Edward rolled over so that his body covered hers and licked and sucked her neck as she writhed against him.

"Please."

And he filled her emptiness in one swift thrust, and moved inside of her in a slow and unsteady rhythm, making Bella cry out in frustration.

"Edward. Faster. Please."

And indeed, he pleasured her. He moved like an animal, hoping he'd please his wife as much as possible. And from the long sighs and moans she elicited, she was enjoying him as much as he was enjoying her.

When they reached their orgasms together, she refused to let him pull out of her without a kiss.

"I love you forever."

And that moment he remembered every time Bella would ever be angry with him, or whenever he was angry with his wife.

His wife, the creator of his child, his lover, and his love.

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**My absolute favorite chapter ever. Thank you guys so much for reading, and I'm absolutely grateful for any reviews. Thank you for taking your time in reading this, and if you want, I'll put in some of the extra sexy scenes soon.** **Now go on and read the Bus Stop Chronicles!**


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